I’m Back? Was I ever here?

Well hello there, if you’ve stumbled upon this sad excuse for what was supposed to be my successful blog, I apologize. Like all people who find themselves within the “looking to start afresh”, “finding themselves”, “I’m working on me” phase, I thought starting a blog would be my answer. I was dealing with looming adulthood, that awful time period where I suddenly saw the end of my college career and all I could think was “Fuck”. I wasn’t prepared for the “real” world. I’d had a rough year (can someone define a smooth year?), I was not in a good place (when are we ever?), and I was graduating without honors, without a job, without a plan. Every day I battled that ever crushing feeling of absolute failure and fear, I wondered what life would be like once I was out of Williamsburg, I wondered if I would ever get hired, I wondered what I should do and where I should go. Some of my friends were moving to other countries to teach, or joining Americorps or the Peach Corps, or off vacationing before starting their cushy jobs that had been offered back in August. Everyone had their shit figured out, but me. What was I? I was an English Major, which apparently means I was good at writing, reading, and sounding loftily better than you. It meant I was marketable, I was versatile; really it meant I could skim pages or situations really quickly, make a flash judgments, and bullshit my way out of work life. It had been working well for me, and you know what, it still is. I aim to continue the trend.

So here I am, nearly 2 years after creating this blog and one year out of college. That feeling of, “Oh God, what am I doing?” never quite left me, but I’m learning to choke it down better than Aubrey from Pitch Perfect. I’d love to say something cliched and canned like, “Follow me on my journey of self-discovery” or, “Read as I navigate through work and play, love and independence” but, unfortunately, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing with my life. So if you follow me, be prepared for sinking indecision, and (I would love to say daily but that’s holding myself to a pretty high standard) a weekly dose of, “No, it doesn’t get better out of school, so stay in it. Accrue debt and happiness. And a cat.”

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That’s me and my faithful, toe biting mongrel, Louie.

That’s all for now folks. Until I decide to write again.

Ally

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